Dec. 27, 2015, midnight

2015-12-27

Today, my mother would've turned 72. That tells me that, according to the traditional Chinese calendar, she was born in the Year of the Goat, which is the year we're in now. I know about that sort of thing because I used to live in China and have studied many different aspects of Chinese culture. I got STARTED doing that thanks to my mother's support when I was a kid.

So far, THIS Year of the Goat, Feb 19, 2015 – Feb 7, 2016 has NOT been kind to me. I literally almost didn't survive it. And even now, when my physical survival is assured, I'm still dealing with a variety of mental and emotional pressures, along with the residual physical effects of what happened before. The only way I'm surviving THOSE is by meditation, which I've been practicing more consistently recently. I learned about meditation by way of yoga, which I practice sporadically. I first learned about yoga from my mother, when I was a child.

It's been almost 30 years since she passed away, and she's still looking after me. As mothers do.

I usually try to do SOMETHING worthwhile on her birthday. I usually fail. We'll see how things go tomorrow.

But as I was writing this, I saw this tweet, which reminded me of these tweets . I don't know for sure, but I'd have to guess those comments are based on one of these three talks I gave in 2015, all of which I'm happy to have given. So, it looks like I HAVE done something worthwhile in 2015, if not ON her birthday.

All my best qualities come from her. Well, her and her mother, my grandmother. All the bad ones are my own creations. THEY'RE the source of my powers. If there's something you like about ME, it comes from THEM.

I made the 'mistake' of trying to be more active on Facebook recently. What I forgot was there's a string of birthdays of relatives who've passed away, right around Christmas. My mother's youngest sister, who passed in April of this year, was born Dec. 17th. My cousin Derek, who's just a few months younger than me, was born on Christmas Eve and passed a few years back. So, I've been watching my family on Facebook over the past few days go through that emotional turmoil. It was unexpected. It also reminds me of one MORE reason I HADN'T used Facebook in the past. But that's another story for another time.

For now, I'll post this on MY blog and put a link to the post on Facebook. I planned to set the post so that only my family can see it, but my blog is open to the world. So, kinda no point in that, huh? Besides, the NSA ALREADY has a copy of it anyway, right? ;-)

Happy Birthday Mom. I love you and I'll be fine. But you already know both of those things. It'll be a LONG time before I see you, but I think that's how we'd both prefer it, yeah?

Now I'm going to bed.


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